A good book along these lines is Loving What Is:  Four Questions that Can Change Your Life  by Byron Katie with Stephen Mitchell.  You might also refer to Katie’s web site, www.thework.com. 

SOME NEWS TO SHARE

This week I was delighted to be included among “50 Brilliant Business Coach Bloggers” at www.onlinedegreeprograms.com.  Here’s a link: www.onlinedegreeprograms.com/blog/2010/50-brilliant-business-coach-bloggers/.

It’s always rewarding to have one’s work recognized, and that’s the kind of reward I want for you, my readers, in your own work lives.

QUOTES

“It’s a poor sort of memory that only works backwards.”   Lewis Carroll

“Sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”  Lewis Carroll

PLEASE COMMENT

Once again, I would appreciate any experiences, comments or questions that will help other readers.  I would particularly enjoy some humorous experiences and success stories. 

 HOW TO REACH ME

jill@careercoachjill.com 

www.careercoachjill.com for career coaching    

www.limitlesshorizon.com for personal life coaching

www.leadercoaching.org for leadership coaching

Thanks to tech guru David Behrens (http://neptunestudios.net), and editor M. C. Pastoret.

I have heard clients say that they feel lost or empty.  For those of us who have been highly goal-oriented, job search might seem that way.  However, this might not be bad.  Fields that lie fallow for a time are better able to support growth.  If you were burned out by your last job or succession of last jobs, what is this time period telling you that you need? 

Transition or job search means that we have to bring in a whole new set of attitudes as well as skills.  What made us successful in prior jobs might not be what is needed in search mode.  I can remember one of my two wonderful daughters-in-law telling me about holding a payroll training class shortly after the birth of her first child, my first grandchild.  She told class participants that something was a “no-no”. 

So we need different mind sets, different skills, different vocabularies during transition.  When you are with groups of others in transition, stop the circular negative talk about the economy, the search, the unfairness.  Find someone who has successfully made the transition and ask questions about how they managed.  Ask questions similar to the following:

1. What helped you the most?
2. What do you wish you had known early in the search?
3. If you had to do it over, what would you do differently?
4. What did you learn about yourself?
5. What advice can you share with me about my search? 

QUOTE 

Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place around you,
If you leave it you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.

~ David Wagoner

 PLEASE COMMENT

Once again, I would appreciate any experiences, comments or questions that will help other readers.  I would particularly enjoy some humorous experiences and success stories. 

HOW TO REACH ME

jill@careercoachjill.com 

www.careercoachjill.com for career coaching   

www.limitlesshorizon.com for personal life coaching

www.leadercoaching.org for leadership coaching 

Thanks to tech guru David Behrens (http://neptunestudios.net), and editor M. C. Pastoret.

My suggestion to you is to break the cycle of interview stress with moments of gratitude.  This can be grounding.  When we get caught in a negative spiral in job search, we forget how often things in this world do work.

In an earlier blog, I might have quoted a framed saying that family members gave me: “Change your thoughts and you change your world.”  So if the job search is dreary, I suggest you spend a few minutes thinking of and  writing down all you are grateful for.  It can be a breath of fresh air in the fog.  Read the poem below by Hafiz and let some light into your soul with a little gratitude.

QUOTE 

“It Felt Love,” by Hafiz 

How
Did the rose
Ever open its heart

And give this world
All its
Beauty?

It felt the encouragement of light
Against its
Being,

Otherwise,
We all remain

Too

Frightened

Source: “ The Gift,” poems by Hafiz translated by Daniel Ladinsky  (Penguin Compass, 1999).   

 PLEASE COMMENT

Once again, I would appreciate any experiences, comments or questions that will help other readers.  I would particularly enjoy some humorous experiences and success stories. 

HOW TO REACH ME

jill@careercoachjill.com

www.careercoachjill.com for career coaching   

www.limitlesshorizon.com for personal life coaching

www.leadercoaching.org for leadership coaching

Thanks to tech guru David Behrens (http://neptunestudios.net), and editor M. C. Pastoret.

Your answer will have three parts: 

• Situation (what happened),
• Action (what did you do)
• Response (what was the result for the company or client). 

You are being pushed to think of a specific example.  Speaking in generalities (“Oh, I always take care of clients.  It’s one of my strengths,”) will not work.  On one assignment we interviewers were to ask candidates, “Tell me about a time you didn’t get along with a coworker.”  If your answer was the general comment of “I get along with everyone,” you failed.  At the very least, you missed an opportunity to promote a key skill.

I worked on a recruitment project with a group trained by government psychologists.  We were instructed to give no positive feedback to candidates because it would mean that we might be giving unfair advantage to one over another.  This “no positive feedback” extended to not using the words “thank you” or “okay.”  We were not to smile or nod our heads.  So don’t take it personally or think you are not doing a good job, if this is the case.

For most of the interviews that I conducted either by phone or in person, I asked at least one or two behavioral questions.  I would talk to the decision maker and ask what traits he or she wanted in the eventual hire and then formulate a situation for the candidates to react to.  The responses then became a large part of my feedback with a recommendation of which candidates to further consider.

To recap, some interviews might be strictly behavioral and some might be regular interviews with a few behavioral questions.  In either case, it is best to be prepared.

So how to prepare?  When you have an interview set up, look at the job posting and make a short list of traits that you think the employer will want.  A few possibilities might be:  leadership, initiative, customer service, proactive problem solving, teamwork.  Then think of a story to show how you have the desired quality.  Write it out in situation, action and result form.  Prepare examples in that form—situation, action, result–for each of the traits you think might be required. 

It would be best to use a different story for each question.  So the rule of thumb is, “don’t repeat a story even to different interviewers within a firm.”  They will compare notes. 

Mistakes I see clients make are:

• Getting so lost in the details of the situation that they run out of time for the important part which is how their actions brought about a good result.
• Using a story which does not have a good result for the company or the company’s clients.
• Being so team-oriented, that they forget to showcase themselves.
• Rambling because they weren’t prepared.
• Repeating the same story. 
• Making up a story. 

This preparation is helpful even if you are not asked a behavioral question.  There are some interviewers who have no clue how to interview and so ramble on because they just don’t know how to question or because they like the sound of their own voices.  If the Clueless One rambles about how the firm needs leadership but doesn’t ask you any questions about your abilities, you might interject with an example of your leadership.  You could introduce this with, “May I tell you about a time when I demonstrated leadership similar to what you are saying is needed here?”

QUOTE

 Just to be clear, this is an example of a rambling bad answer. 

“I’m a people person, very personable. I absolutely insist on enjoying life. Not so task-oriented. Not a work horse. If you’re looking for a Clydesdale I’m probably not your man. Like I don’t live to work, it’s more the other way around. I work to live. Incidentally, what’s your policy on Columbus Day?”
You, Me and Dupree (2006) – Randy Dupree (Owen Wilson)  

PLEASE COMMENT

 Once again, I would appreciate any experiences, comments or questions that will help other readers.  I would particularly enjoy hearing about the most difficult interview question you have been asked.

HOW TO REACH ME

jill@careercoachjill.com 

www.careercoachjill.com for career coaching  

www.limitlesshorizon.com for personal life coaching

www.leadercoaching.org for leadership coaching 

Thanks to tech guru David Behrens (http://neptunestudios.net), and editor M. C. Pastoret.

Your e-mail and voice mail are important links to those who have jobs to offer.  Does your e-mail system let you know when a message is undeliverable?  If not, do you double check to see if you have the address correct?  

Is your voice mail message professional?  A least favorite is, “I am not here.  You know what to do.”  Is your message brief and to the point?  I am sure your children are charming but not on your voice mail message if you are in search mode.  Your religious holidays are not of interest to the caller.  If you have a choice, make and receive calls from a land line because it can be clearer.  And finally, be very aware of background noise whenever you make a call or leave a message:  turn off the TV and stereo, and step out of the room if there are other people around chatting away.  The only sound the other party should hear is the sound of your own voice. 

QUOTE

“If e-mail had been around before the telephone was invented people would have said “hey, forget e-mail-with this new telephone invention I can actually talk to people.” www.thinkexist.com

PLEASE COMMENT

Once again, I would appreciate any experiences, comments or questions that will help other readers.  I would particularly enjoy some humorous experiences and success stories.  Once a month, I will choose one commenter to contact for a free coaching session.

HOW TO REACH ME

jill@careercoachjill.com

www.careercoachjill.com for career coaching   

www.limitlesshorizon.com for personal life coaching

www.leadercoaching.org for leadership coaching

Thanks to tech guru David Behrens (http://neptunestudios.net), and editor M. C. Pastoret.

There is real fear of danger and fear imposed by self-limiting beliefs.   If we are asking ourselves “what if” type of questions, then it could be that fear caused by self-limiting beliefs is beneath them. 

• What if I fail?
• What if I look stupid?
• What if I say something stupid?
• What if the recruiter thinks I am stupid?
• What if I am older (or younger) than the recruiter?
• What if the economy is so bad that I never will find a job?

If you are uncomfortable or stuck in some aspect of your job search because of self- limiting thinking, try writing the words that have been going through your mind.  (E.g., I am so stupid.  I always make mistakes.  I am not good enough.  No one is going to hire me.)  Then ask if these negative words are really, really true in all instances.  Ask how it makes you feel to think these words.  Ask if you would use these words against a friend or loved one.  If these words you frequently say to yourself are not 100% accurate, make you feel crummy and would never be used about a loved one, THEN STOP THINKING THEM.  An interesting book on the topic is Loving What Is: Four Questions that Can Change Your Life, by Byron Katie.  You might also check out Katie’s web site, www.thework.com  for helpful information and exercises about this. 

For some of us, negative words from childhood or school stick in our minds and become “truths” that we live by.  These voices in our heads which diminish us or keep us from success could be called saboteurs or gremlins.  Stress (and many aspects of job search can be stressful) really activates them.  When you notice that you are caught up in negative circular thinking, try the following:

• Notice—simply notice.  Become aware of the here and now.  Notice your breathing, the tension in your body and where it is.
• Breathe deeply several times.  Feel your emotions. 
• Tell the voice to go away. 

The first two suggestions are from a good book on the topic, Taming Your Gremlin: A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting out of Your Own Way, by Rick Carson.

 QUOTES 

"Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine."  Emerson

"What you think of yourself is much more important that what others think of you."  Seneca

“It is of practical value to learn to like yourself. Since you must spend so much time with yourself you might as well get some satisfaction out of the  relationship.”  Norman Vincent Peale

PLEASE COMMENT

Once again, I would appreciate any experiences, comments or questions that will help other readers.  I would particularly enjoy some humorous experiences and success stories.  Once a month, I will choose one commenter to contact for a free coaching session.

HOW TO REACH ME

jill@careercoachjill.com

www.careercoachjill.com for career coaching   

www.limitlesshorizon.com for personal life coaching

www.leadercoaching.org for leadership coaching

Thanks to tech guru David Behrens (http://neptunestudios.net), and editor M. C. Pastoret.

Practice Success—Not Failure

We are in the midst of the Olympics and so I am leaving behind the tools of job search for a bit.  I am amazed at the athletic feats.  I can’t imagine doing any of the routines which is perhaps one reason I am not able.  (However, age and lack of athletic talent might also play a part.)  This topic does tie into job search in that we need to see ourselves as successful.  We humans probably spend more time berating ourselves for mistakes we make than we do in visualizing success. 

Time magazine reported, in a cover story on the 1984 Olympics, that in the darkness before the finals in women’s gymnastics Mary Lou Retton, at that time age 16, lay in bed at Olympic Village mentally rehearsing her routine ritual. She had done the same on hundreds of preceding nights, visualizing herself performing all her routines flawlessly in her mind all the moves and rehearsing them yet again and over again. The end result was a routine of flawlessness, presented with charisma, composure and coolness, culminating in a gold medal.

Of course, to be successful we must have and then practice the necessary skills.  After that we need to get out of our own way, let go of fear and envision success.  Next week, I will blog more about letting go of fear. 

One way to visualize overall success is to write a letter (does not need to be sent) to someone you admire as if it were one year from today.  The letter recipient can be a friend, fictional character in a book, someone in the past, your future self.  In that letter, outline all the good things that have happened to you during the year and how happy you feel.  Be very specific about the successes and your emotions around this success.  Really feel the power of this. 

You can also visualize success in particular settings, such as the job interview. Do as Mary Lou Retton did. Visualize yourself walking into the interview room, confidently answering questions, asking questions, ending the interview.

A suggestion is to change your definition of success until you land.  In the figure skating events it would be announced that a competitor had beaten his/her prior personal best.  I like this as a measurement because everyone can do it, not just those who win medals.  So I suggest to you that you strive to beat your personal best in number of networking calls, resumes sent out, comfort level at interviewing.  If you set the bar at increasing your ability rather than winning the job, you will see yourself as successful. Then, with the right opportunity, your practice and feelings of comfort will win you the gold–the job you want.

What have you learned from the Olympics that you can use in your job search?

QUOTE

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right.”  Henry Ford

 PLEASE COMMENT

Once again, I would appreciate any experiences, comments or questions that will help other readers.  I would particularly enjoy some humorous experiences and success stories.  Once a month, I will choose one commenter to contact for a free coaching session.

HOW TO REACH ME

jill@careercoachjill.com

www.careercoachjill.com for career coaching   

www.limitlesshorizon.com for personal life coaching

www.leadercoaching.org for leadership coaching  

Thanks to tech guru David Behrens (http://neptunestudios.net), and editor M. C. Pastoret.

I believe the problem is the informational interview.  Outplacement agencies and job clubs push “networking” and teach this technique.  It is stressed that you are seeking information, not a job.  For some of us that would be disingenuous because we are not seeking information, we are seeking a job.  Not all of us are going to do informational interviews in which we ask a contact to meet us for lunch or coffee.  Some of us are not at the place in our career where our contacts are free to meet for lunch or coffee. Networking is the big picture, and the informational interview is just one part of that picture.    Informational interviewing seems to work well when you want to learn

• about a type of career before you switch to it,
• about an industry,
• or about a particular company. 

But even if we don’t do informational interviewing, we all can network by choosing a method that works for our personality and needs.  For example, I have heard of those who have:

• Used a tag line under an e-mail signature about the type of job being sought. 
• Had an accidental interview on a plane when the person sitting next to her asked what type of work she did.  Her seat mate happened to be the CEO of a hospital.  (Thank goodness she had her Personal Commercial polished.)
• Contacted others through LinkedIn or from his contact list for information about a company.  “Who do you know at xyz company who can help me get my resume noticed?”
• Asked contacts for names of recruiters.  The recruiter pays more attention when you have been referred.  
• Attended meetings in their current or desired field.  (Bring  business cards and copies of the Networking Brief.)
• Asked family, friends and contacts to be their eyes and ears about openings in a desired field or at a desired company.
• E-mailed contacts to let them know with wording from the Personal Commercial what is being sought and how the contacts can help.  (You might attach your Networking Brief to the e-mail because it is specific about how you can be helped.)
• Asked contacts if  they know anyone in a desired firm who can let them know what it is like to work there.
• Done public speaking on an area of expertise.
• Volunteered in a field of interest.
• Gone to local job search groups and then had coffee or lunch to better get to know someone else in transition.  This person does not necessarily have to be in your field.  (Once when in transition I had coffee with a man who was interviewing to be COO of a company where I had applied to be the HR Manager.  If he had landed that position, I would have been a shoe-in.)

Please share with me your networking ideas and successes.

Some suggested books that have information on networking:

Change Your Career: Transitioning to the Nonprofit Sector  by Laura Gassner Otting 

In Transition:  From the Harvard Business School Club of New York’s Career Management Seminar by Mary Lindley Burton, Richard A. Wedemeyer

Rites of Passage at $100,000 to $1Million +:  Your Insider’s Lifetime Guide to Executive Job-Changing and Faster Career Progress in the 21^st Century, by John Lucht 

What Color is Your Parachute?  2010: A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career-changers by Richard N. Bolles.

QUOTE

 “…when it comes to finding out about new jobs…’weak ties’ are always more important than strong ties.  Your friends, after all, occupy the same world that you do. …Your acquaintances, on the other hand, by definition occupy a very different world than you.  They are much more likely to know something that you don’t.”  (Page 54, The Tipping Point: How Little things Can Make a Big Difference by Malcolm Gladwell)

 PLEASE COMMENT

 Once again, I would appreciate any experiences, comments or questions that will help other readers.  I would particularly enjoy some humorous experiences and success stories.  Once a month, I will choose one commenter to contact for a free coaching session.

HOW TO REACH ME

jill@careercoachjill.com

www.careercoachjill.com for career coaching   

www.limitlesshorizon.com for personal life coaching

www.leadercoaching.org for leadership coaching

Thanks to tech guru David Behrens (http://neptunestudios.net), and editor M. C. Pastoret.

When you are networking or just out and about, you want to tell people what you are looking for in your next step.  Don’t expect them to take out a piece of paper and jot down salient points.  It is your job to let them know with your personal commercial and with your Networking Brief.  This leaves the guess work out of the game. 

A Networking Brief is a one page document.  It includes:

• your contact information,
• short summary (similar to your resume),
• several bullet points about why you are good,
• types of positions and industries you are interested in,
• contacts that would be helpful,
• and names of target companies if relevant.

 It does not include names of companies you have worked for or the names of your schools.  I would like you to use a filter when writing it.  That filter is:  does the recipient need this information to connect me with the people who can be most helpful to me?

Please use the links to see the two samples.   network_brief_bank  network brief Technical

QUOTE

 “You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom.”  Proverb

PLEASE COMMENT

Once again, I would appreciate any experiences, comments or questions that will help other readers.  I would particularly enjoy some humorous experiences and success stories.  Once a month, I will choose one commenter to contact for a free one half hour coaching session.

HOW TO REACH ME

jill@careercoachjill.com

www.careercoachjill.com for career coaching   

www.limitlesshorizon.com for personal life coaching

www.leadercoaching.org for leadership coaching

Thanks to tech guru David Behrens (http://neptunestudios.net), and editor M. C. Pastoret.

• Get a business card.  Early in my career search, I found myself in the embarrassing position of writing my name and contact information on a yellow sticky note to hand to a potential contact.  Your business card can be a simple one with your name and contact information on it. You do not have to include your address.  Instead of a title, you put your function under your name.  For example, Human Resources Professional, CPA, Engineer, IT Professional, Administrative Professional, Electrician.  This correlates to the function you used in the summary of your resume and in your personal commercial.  You can get them professionally printed relatively inexpensively or even do them on your home printer.
• If you haven’t joined LinkedIn, do so.  LinkedIn is free, and I have seen it be very helpful to clients.  It helps you develop and manage your network of professional connections—people you know or should know in your field of interest.  Just as important, LinkedIn lets you create a profile for yourself that communicates your value to those contacts.  Your profile is one more way to let the world know what you do uniquely well.  It is worth spending some time writing it.  Then, when you start to build your network, you can ask friends and co-workers to write a recommendation for you.  You might also then do the same for them.

I will write about the Networking Brief next week and include a sample.

QUOTE

“More business decisions occur over lunch and dinner than at any other time, yet no MBA courses are given on the subject.”  Peter Drucker

PLEASE COMMENT

Once again, I would appreciate any experiences, comments or questions that will help other readers.  I would particularly enjoy some humorous experiences and success stories.  Once a month, I will choose one commenter to contact for a free coaching session.

HOW TO REACH ME

jill@careercoachjill.com

www.careercoachjill.com for career coaching

www.limitlesshorizon.com for personal life coaching

www.leadercoaching.org for leadership coaching

Thanks to tech guru David Behrens (http://neptunestudios.net), and editor M. C. Pastoret.